Musings

Nemesis day

Sunday was an interesting day.

As I was getting ready to take my oldest daughter to watch a kids’ triathlon, my wife came and told me that our faithful lab Max had a baby bird.

No big deal.

Max is a trained hunting retriever so the birds are usually unharmed, just covered in dog slobber. I dry them off and send them on their way.

So, I casually stroll out to the back yard to find Max “playing” with a young male European House Sparrow. I had seen this bird flittering around the bird feeder with his parents so I was surprised that Max was able to grab him. Anyway, I get Max’s attention and command him “HERE!”

At this point, he always picks up the bird, trots over to me, heels and sits by my left side, and drops the bird into my hand upon command.

Not today.

The little bastard decided to chomp on the bird. After four years of training and retrieving birds, Max decided today was the day he was going to see what was inside those feathery creatures. He found out the crunchy outside held a gooey and yummy inside. He proceeded to gnaw the bird in half and eat the head and some other trailing goodies.

He also willingly disobeyed me.

Not good for him.

He’s been developing a bit of a punk attitude the last few months. He needs to get his priorities re-aligned through exercise and training…something I have neglected to do for him since I’m so busy training myself. Just a 15-20 minute walk every night after dinner will do the trick. And, it sure doesn’t hurt me to burn a few more calories.

That being said, it was sad to see the little sparrow meet his nemesis and check out that way.

*******

After the bird incident, I took my oldest daughter to watch the kids’ triathlon. This series is put on by Frank Lowery, the local master’s swim coach extraordinaire, triathlete, and director of the Silverman, which is billed as the toughest Iron-distance course in the North America.

Frank’s big into running triathlon youth development programs and my daughter had wanted to compete this morning. Unfortunately, she doesn’t have enough Swim Fu to make it and that is something we’ll remedy by the next race in September. Frank even runs some youth tri camps over the summer we’ll see if we can get her in.

But…the point of all of this is that I met my new nemesis there. I don’t know his name, but I’ll call him Butch because he sports a crew cut and is built like an ex-linebacker.

Butch and I traded passes on the bike during last weekend’s Rage in the Sage. He finally trumped me and muttered something as he passed by. I didn’t quite hear what he said, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t an invitation to enjoy a beer with him after the race.

So, we’re at the kids’ triathlon and there’s Butch. I know he recognizes me because he gets a certain look on his mug. A smug look. A look of someone who knows we duked it out and he came on top.

My goal between now and our next match is to wipe that look off his face.

It will be no small challenge. It is obvious to me now that Butch and his family are into the triathlon lifestyle. He will be putting hours of work into his next race.

I will have to put in twice as many.

I wasn’t planning on entering the Pumpkinman this fall because it lands on the same weekend as the Soulstice Mountain Trail Run. However, I’m sure Butch will be there and it’s time for some payback.

Now, all of this may not be in the true spirit of athleticism where we all root for one another on the field. I will do that for every other competitor except Butch. He must go down. Hard.

Channeling my inner asshole into destroying someone has a way of making me perform better. It’s not nice. It’s not the “yogi” way, but it’s the way I’m hardwired. The way I think we are all hardwired when you take off all the surface societal stuff. It reminds us that we are still part of the food chain. It also takes the “oh shit, this hurts” and converts it into “oh shit, there is no way in hell this fuck face is going to beat me.”

Like I wrote earlier, it’s time for the “lethal” part of my Lethal Cupcake moniker rise to the top this year.

peace, love and joy,

hak

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