Inspiration

Going Within: Dan Millman on the “Peaceful Warrior” Mindset

When I first started to train for triathlons back in 1993, I came across Dan Millman’s ground-breaking book, Way of the Peaceful Warrior: A Book That Changes Lives (the 1984 international best seller that was made into a movie last year starring Nick Nolte). My massage therapist had recommended the book as “must read” and although I was hesitant to read something so obviously “New Agey.” I relented, however, and have never looked back. The book combined very sage counsel, touched upon some “ah-ha” concepts about the power within us…and did it all without being preachy or “let’s hold hands as we skip through mountain meadows.”

There was a great practicality to his writing.

Millman is a former world trampoline champion, student of the martial arts, as well as coach and faculty member at Stanford, U.C. Berkeley, and Oberlin College, and was recently inducted into the U.S. Gymnastics Hall of Fame. Now a best-selling author and popular speaker, he presents practical ways to transform our daily challenges into vehicles of spiritual growth.

His eight books - including Way of the Peaceful Warrior, Sacred Journey, No Ordinary Moments, The Life You Were Born to Live, The Inner Athlete, and The Laws of Spirit - have inspired millions of people in twenty-two languages worldwide.

1) Question: One of my favorite quotes from your book “The Way of the Peaceful Warrior” is “The time is now, the place is here. Stay in the present. You can do nothing to change the past, and the future will never come exactly as you plan or hope for.” As an athlete, particularly and endurance athlete, how does that mindset come into play?

Millman: Any athlete (or musician or other performer) can relate to the experience of the Moment of Truth (the “zone,”) when our attention is entirely focused in the present while swinging a tennis racquet, shooting a free-throw, kayaking a rapids or climbing a cliff wall, soaring through the air, playing a concerto. If attention wanders to random thoughts about the moment (rather than staying on the action in the moment), the quality of performance suffers. So every athlete understands the value of focusing in the moment.

The value in the lessons of focused physical activity amplifies immeasurably when we began to extend the same quality of attention from those “special” moments of performance to every moment in daily life. When we finally realize that there are no ordinary moments.

The challenge for endurance athletes is to sustain that quality of attention over longer periods of time. Because frankly, it’s easier to discipline attention in the few seconds it takes to somersault from the rings or high bar, or fly up a ramp on a skateboard, then to hold that quality while running an endurance race on foot or bike.

Life is a series of moments; we can practice more present moments over time until such quality of attention infuses our sports and our everyday life.

2) Question: From your coaching experience, as well as that as an inspirational speaker, do you think that athletes have a disconnect between their physical training and their mental training?

Millman: Actually, I think with the advent of sports psychology, too much is made of mental training. This may sound odd or even anachronistic, coming from someone who believes in training “body, mind and spirit.” But the more athletes start paying attention to their mind, the crazier they get! Trying to “think positively” and quiet the mind and so forth. Clearly, the instinctive ability to visualize and “feel” oneself learning or practicing a skill, or accomplishing a task, is a practical method of learning, using “ideomotor action.”

One study demonstrated that visualizing, for example, shooting free throws brings almost as much improvement as the physical practice (providing one feels-visualizes with proper technique).

Beyond this, I’m not a big believer in all the techniques of “positive self talk” or affirmations and so forth. Just train hard, train with good technique, use visualization (which works with the subconscious), and the quality of performance will reflect the preparation. I recommend to athletes, and to anyone else, that they “simply” accept their thoughts and emotions (whether positive or negative) as natural to them in the moment — then focus on a goal, and do what needs to be done towards reaching that goal.

Athletes (and anyone else) would be wise to remember that we can control our efforts, but not the outcomes. So I don’t aim for “winning” or for “success,” but rather for excellence, since that’s all I can control.

In my book Everyday Enlightenment: The Twelve Gateways to Personal Growth, I offer the following observation:

To progress toward your goals, please choose one of the following methods:

(1) You can find a way to quiet your mind, create empowering beliefs and positive self-talk, find your focus and affirm your power to free your emotions and visualize positive outcomes so that you can develop the confidence to generate the courage to find the determination to make the commitment to feel sufficiently motivated to do whatever it is you need to do.

(2) Or you can just do it.

3) Question: This may be difficult to answer in the limited space we have, but how would an endurance athlete go about incorporating the “mind” and “spirit” components into that “body-mind-spirit” triangle you described?

Millman: Body-mind-spirit reflects the way we humans deconstruct, dissect, and at the same time mythologize who we are. We know there is a body, we call the sum of our thoughts and awareness “mind,” and we propose a subtle something called “spirit.” But let’s not mistake the menu for the meal or the map for the territory. For those endurance athletes interested in integrating “mind” and “spirit” then I would advise them to pay attention to the body, to breath, to relaxation, to the moment. As to the “spirit” part (as in the phrase, “That’s the spirit!”) I offer the quotation by Shoma Morita, M.D.: “When running up a hill, it’s okay to give up as many times as you want — as long as your feet keep moving.”

In that sense, spirit and what we refer to as will (willpower) are the same. Mind, intention, will, body — when integrated, become a Whole that is greater than the sum of the parts. We call that Whole by the name “spirit.”

4) Question: One of the dichotomies I’ve struggled with over the years is the concept of competition without being competitive. I’m paraphrasing a line from your book where you said you would treat competition as an opportunity to learn from your opponents, but at the same time, teach them a lesson as well. It seems that many of the “New Age” (for lack of a better term) proponents are all about living in a world filled with peace, love, happiness and where everyone wears the color pink and we hold hands as we skip through wildflower meadows. How do we find that balance as a “Peaceful Warrior” once the starting gun is fired on race day?

Millman: Some so-called “New Age” or “spiritual” writers compose lackluster books because, as you suggest, they write idealized material where everyone gets along and all is filled with love and light. Wonderful in life, boring in literature, because conflict is the heart of drama. Man (and woman) against the elements; protagonist and antagonist — we all need someone or something to push against, to test and temper our spirits (there’s that word again).

I’m all for competitive sports, but I believe we can avoid competitive mind that’s always comparing itself to someone else. The Buddhists suggest that “comparison is a form of suffering,” and I believe we can make a good argument for this position. We are who we are; we can do the best we can do; there will always be people of lesser and greater ability. Even world champions are eventually defeated, or records broken. That is why I choose to view so-called opponents as my teachers and students. Because ultimately, it is about learning.

Those who do sports for the trophies or pursue a career mostly for the money are missing the point. It’s all a path of personal growth. Sports are a form of voluntary adversity that develops strength and character. This is why I’ve never aimed at “winning” or “success” (since I can’t ultimately control such things). I am only for excellence — doing the best I can in a given moment, and let the outcomes be what they will. No matter the outcomes of a race, if we learn something about ourselves, it is a victory.

5) Question: As a father of two young athletes-in-training, I’m saddened by the “we must love everyone to the point of being spineless” attitude that is taught in our schools. Competition is discouraged. To borrow a line from Mr. Incredible from Disney’s “The Incredibles”: “They keep creating new ways to celebrate mediocrity.” Have you noticed a shift in the competitive spirit of our youth, or am I beginning to turn into a cranky old man?

Millman: Many schools are so focused on “self-esteem” — having children like and be happy with themselves all the time, that they create a pampering atmosphere that has the opposite effect. By speaking to young people’s strength — just assuming they are going to be up to the tasks and challenges, and that they can deal with disappointment, we let them grow. They learn that we win some and lose some. Again, with an emphasis on learning rather than always coming out on top, young athletes mature. Not everyone is great at athletics; some children are better at reading or at math.

It seems quite important that we let children try out their skills in many areas (including different sports) to find their natural abilities. I recall a story of a young boy who wasn’t much good at anything — not academics, not sports, not popularity — but he loved to draw, and did it over the years. He eventually came up with an idea for a cartoon series based around a little boy a lot like he was. He named that boy “Charlie Brown” and made quite a career by playing to his strength.

I don’t closely follow youth-sports, but my grandkids aren’t being pampered. One has a black belt in Korean karate, and has gone on to play volleyball in high school. Another is not as talented in or inclined toward sports, but excels at chess and math.

But let me make clear that I do believe that a collaborative attitude is in the long run more productive and more fun than a competitive emphasis with “winners” and “losers.” We take the whole thing too seriously, as if our identities, or those of our children, are riding on the next game or contest. We might want to ask why everyone needs to be ranked at how good they are at everything. In gymnastics I found it strange to take creative performances of great skill, and turn them into numbers, then compare the numbers to see who was “best.”

There is much more to say on this topic. Much more, as it relates to the tribalism and competition between nations and the state of our world. But at least I hope to have raise some question and stimulate some response.

For more information on Dan Millman, or to purchase any of his books or audiotapes, go to www.danmillman.com.

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