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Is it finally OK to call someone fat?
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In the desert Southwest, many of our outdoor activities come to a screeching halt during the traditional summer months due to the heat and blistering sun. I’ve lived here 18 years and still have to take a pause and re-condition my brain that our outdoor season here is, well, non-traditional.
Once such event that reinforced that conditioning was my youngest daughter’s soccer wrap-up party the other weekend. Yes, their spring season had come to an end and her team won’t reconvene until the cooler temps arrive in the fall. Having 8-year-old girls practicing in 98-degree temps with full sun exposure apparently isn’t healthy for children.
When did kids get so fat?
Anyway, we’re at the pool party and my wife and I are having fun watching the kids frolic in the water. Out of the dozen or so girls on the team, 10 were obese. I’m not talking about having a little extra baby fat, I’m talking double-fisted Twinkie-eating-hand-me-another-grape-soda-mom kind of fat. Lest you think me a physique snob, my wife, who is very sensitive about these matters, was the one who pointed out that one girl looked like she was pregnant. Huge abdominal distention.
Ummm…who gave this kid more ice cream?
What makes this even more depressing is that these are active kids. They play soccer for chrissakes. They’re not like the kids that sit on their asses playing video games or watching Nickelodeon all day. These kids run up and down the field during practice and pump their little legs and lungs like crazy.
I wanted to run up to the parents and shake the crap out of them. “Do you see what you’re doing to your kid!”
Of course, if I did that, I’d be kicked out of the party and shunned for all times. But somebody needs to wake these parents up.
What authority figure can do that?
The pediatrician.
While these professionals still have some respect and credibility among their patients, it’s time for them to step up and call it like they see it. “Mrs. Smith, your daughter is suffering from a serious disease.”
Mrs. Smith:”Oh my God! What is it? Cancer? Leukemia?”
Pediatrician:”I’m afraid you’re not so lucky. Those diseases, while painful and often fatal, will end your daughter’s life far quicker. No, you’re daughter suffers from CTT.”
Mrs. Smith:”That sounds horrible! What is it?”
Pediatrician: “Chronic Twinkie Toxicity. Yes, Mrs. Smith. Your daughter is a fat ass.”
Mrs. Smith: “But…but…she’s just big for her age. Can’t you just give her a pill?”
And so it goes….
Throwing Political Correctness out the window
Finally, one physician has the cajones to call a spade a spade. Perhaps more apropos, a lard ass a lard ass. Or, as we used to say in the farmbelt of Ohio: A corn-fed gal a corn-fed gal.
Dr. Jeremy Brown, an ER doc in Baltimore, is doing the right thing: “Obesity is not only about health risks, which include diabetes, joint pain, congestive heart failure, strokes, back pain, sleep apnea, depression, infertility and erectile dysfunction. It is also about the root causes and our society’s denial of the woeful impact obesity is having on Americans’ health. Let me “not fail to see what is visible” is the line I recall from the Prayer for Physicians attributed to the great physician-philosopher of the Middle Ages, Moses Maimonides, a copy of which hangs over my desk. Non-traumatic knee pain in an obese patient is a sign that she needs dietary counseling, not radiographic imaging.”
You can read the full story, Tackling a Taboo, by clicking here.
For those who feel the need to write me about how insensitive I am to the needs of plus-sized people, to you I say, “Piss off.” I will not lose a moment of sleep on whether or not you take care of the amazing hardware system you were given stewardship of when you took your first breath outside the womb. What you do with your body is your business.
However, if you have a child and are letting them destroy their bodies and health, or worse, emulating your destructive habits, then wake the fuck up.
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Hmmmm,
You see the problem is that we too easily connect a person’s looks with their value. A fat, obese person should be treated with the same acceptance and worthwhileness (is that a word?) that you would treat who you consider the most beautiful person.
At this same time, we do not have to accept that obesity is ok. It is not, it is bad for your health, your self esteem (rightly or wrongly it does) and much more.
Why can’t we understand that both above facts are equally true!
I once went on a field trip to the zoo with my son who was about 7 at the time. I noticed so many obese kids that I turned my attention from the animals and snuck around snapping pics of the fattest ones I could find - it was shocking. After about an hour of feeling like a pervert, I turned my attention to the adults, but I quickly became overwhelmed, and stopped.
I see fat kids on my son’s football team. 2 hours of weekly activity (practice and a game) is NO match for the constant overload of crappy foods.
RE (in part):
Best success, Hak and all ~
“[i]I wanted to run up to the parents and shake the crap out of them. “Do you see what you’re doing to your kid!”
Of course, if I did that, I’d be kicked out of the party and shunned for all times. But somebody needs to wake these parents up.
What authority figure can do that?
The pediatrician.[/i]”
*******
I wanted to run up to the parents and shake the crap out of them. “Do you see what you’re doing to your kid!”
What authority figure can do that?
The pediatrician.(?) (….doubtful.)
Of course, if (he) did that, (he’d) be kicked (starved) out of the party (business) and shunned for all times. But somebody needs to wake these parents up.
break, break
There. Fixed.
My youngest comes to mind: “I raised myself” he noted, a couple of years ago.” “Oh, really…… (etc)”, I responded.
O/W, reading you loud and clear, Hak. Probus semper.
–Erl
Ya know, I’m of two minds about this one. I mean obviously we have a problem with obesity, junk food, etc. in our culture, and kids bear the brunt of it. Obviously some parents are not feeding their kids healthy foods or peeling them away from the screens. Obviously many people are making themselves or their kids ill with their poor eating and exercise habits. I won’t argue with you there.
On the other hand, you really can’t make a snap judgement based on how a kid looks. Both of my kids go through stages of looking fat, just pudgy, and relatively normal with a little chub, depending on growth spurts. Neither of them will ever EVER be skinny or probably even average. DH and I were both chubby kids. We’re all very active. My daughter, the chubbiest of all of us takes 3 hours of karate, 5 hours of dance, 2 hours of rollerskating and and hour of horseback riding a week. On top of that, we bike to most of these activities, and when we come home she’s running around in the woods with the neighborhood kids or riding her scooter. Literally, the girl never stops moving. She also drinks no soda, never eats at McDonalds, and rarely has an ice cream cone. Honestly, I shudder to think of you judging her, or me, based on her looks. And I shudder to think of being judged myself as well. I’ve always had a sluggish metabolism, something I fight like crazy. The year I trained for the Ironman I actually made it down to 159 pounds, but usually I hover somewhere above 160 (on a 5′6″ frame). It’s just the way it is, and it will be so for my daughter as well. Just please, don’t go taking a photo of her eating an ice cream cone (we go out for a treat once a month) and think that’s why she’s chubby. Some people just have it genetically easier than others. All of her junk-food-eating, nintendo-playing friends are way skinnier than she is.
You know what they say about ASS-umptions…
Robin,
My interpretation of an ideal physique is most likely different than yours, or SemperSigns’ , moonpies’ or Jumper’s…or anyone else for that matter. The trick, or hang-up (depending on one’s point of view) seems to be reconciling the body we have with body we want. Far be it for me to pass judgment on any adult’s choice to do as they wish with their body. I’m a Libertarian when it comes diet and exercise: Do what you want.
For kids, however, I admit to getting a bit frustrated. Having followed both of Robin’s blogs for a while, there’s no doubt her family is eating healthy and moving healthy. What makes me want to pull my hair out is the neglect parents show when their kid is obviously obese. Not chunky. Not chubby.
Obese.
Fair or not, just about everyone judges one another on their appearances. Adults who were heavy as kids seem to carry that dragon with them into later life. It burdens me to see parents unconsciously allowing that particular dragon to enter and consume their child’s life when it doesn’t take all that much to keep it at bay in the first place.
In a week or so, I’ll talk more about this particular subject and talk to the producer of a remarkable documentary about how we deal with body image as athletes.
Oh…and as far as me going around snapping photos of kids eating ice cream, I don’t do that. That image has been floating around the ‘Net for quite some time. I used it to illustrate my point.
Yeah, I agree with you about that dragon. However, having experienced that other ugly beast of anorexia as a teen, I know that there’s no real easy answers as a parent when confronted with how much control to exert over your kids’ diet. It’s a hard world out there, full of high-fructose corn syrup and terrible school lunches, wtih mini-marts around every corner. Kids can sneak or steal food (I did both in my pre-anorexic chunky phase) and parents are up against a lot. That being said, it doesn’t excuse apathy or ignorance on the parts of parents, for sure! I think bringing back a culture of movement (walking, biking) and local foods will go a long way toward remedying this situation, so in that sense the current world oil crisis will probably come to the defense of our nation’s obese children.
“Oh…and as far as me going around snapping photos of kids eating ice cream…..”
I about blew my coffee on that one …images of Hak on patrol….
….best laff of the week!
Thank you for the chuckles.
Whew…of all my battles in the health world, child obesity is most definitely been the most intense and the most ignored by our culture. It frustrates the hell out of me. Like you, if an adult blows off their health, they are old enough to know better. But to kill your child legally with food is another issue. It’s inching closer and closer into the legal arena. It’s complex because child obesity is not just about junk food, it’s about public safety, government incompetency feeding the worst foods for free and reduced prices to the poorest kids and with poorest health, big corporate America, money, greed, and of course, the western medical machine turning its wheels too plus a bunch of other crap we don’t even have time to list in one night!
I think the best evidence is simply the science. You don’t change the gene pool in 20-40+ years Bro. It’s doesn’t happen. Look back a few generations at some photos. Rarely a fat kid. See my attached photo from government archive website of WWII soldiers training in Miami. NOT ONE of the hundreds in the photo was even overweight let alone obese!!! My God…what have we done to our nation in just a few decades?!!!
And politically correctness? My answer is how “correct” will it be to tell these kids in 20 years their parents ruined their health the first 15 years of their lives. Let’s face it, if you leave high school obese, you’ll probably always be that way. Stats show about 80% will stay fat. I’d say it’s even higher in reality.
Parents don’t want to discuss it because it’s THEIR problem just reflecting back on their kids. Most of them are fat too. It could very well be the death of America. Many experts beyond my feeble ass are saying that without doubts.
What to do?!!!
I and my wife have created a change force in our twins Ronnie and Cade. They will light up someone’s ass in a heart beat about eating junk food. At the pool at age four, they are getting in faces about Cheetos! They already know more at four than many adults. I was watching Cade swim today. He’s got a better six pack than me and my wife! They both are fit as hell. They are active. Eat well. Don’t watch much TV and never crap TV. No video games in our house. They like to be OUT and running around doing stuff like we do. We eat some ice cream once in a while and discuss this as a family. It’s okay as a treat in moderation—they understand that even at four.
I’ve become so overwhelmed about child obesity that I have been somewhat silent about it the last year. I have focused on Ronnie and Cade not being sucked into the fat food nation’s bullshit. I get paid a six figure salary as a corporate Wellcoach. I almost lost my biggest account last year because of speaking the TRUTH about child obesity. People just don’t want to listen—to the science, photo evidence, or basically most of anything to do with kicking ass on child obesity. It’s a sensitive as hell issue that HR departments want to protect and shelter on my end. I’m trying to figure out my next move on this one.
We can’t be silent. That’s giving up and giving in. What to say that will create change is tricky though.
Thanks for the note Hak—and for saying something. It’s wrong. End of story. It is what it is and no amount of PC BS is going to change my mind on the issue.
RJ
I read you loud and clear ….and occasionally visit Wal-Mart, where it seems all the fat farms go.
But there’s hope. I’m doing what I can in my little corner of the gene pool. More would be better.
Both of my youngest’s best friends are lean athletic types and in shape, one a Marine, the other an Army Medic - Iraq war vet, who plans on achieving a nursing degree.
“I was their leader ..I trained those two.”
What my kid noted just the other day:
“One of these days I’ll be in better shape than Scott.”
Good—moto moved to better and better.
He is a big bodied man, always a little chunkier than his friends and siblings. He has no plans to be a “slug” or less fit than the cons he guards at the Maryland State Pen.
break, break
Ya never know where the next serving of junk food will come from.
Once upon a time, about 35 years ago, my baby brother dropped by with a carton full of junk cereal for my kids …all the various sugar varieties. Up until that time my first two hadn’t heard about the stuff.
–Erl